All posts tagged: leadership

Simple tips to add rest into a busy summer schedule

It is summer in the Pacific Northwest, and as I have shared, for many people, summer is supposed to be a time of rest and relaxation. However, the Pacific Northwest’s culture, and especially the Seattle area, is one of sun and outdoor scarcity. 

Many of us feel we have a finite amount of time to be outside doing dozens of activities with all the people we love. And most of us are still working and caring for others, too. 

Ironically, this equals more pressure to “enjoy and relax” with more things to do and even accomplish.

It can be a mind-bending experience.
I am first trying to deal with this by being honest with myself.
I want to do “all the things” this summer and fit it all in. At the same time, my professional work does not slow down, and family caretaking and coordination increase.

This particular summer, my partner Roberto and I have agreed that we need to have less stress and more regulated nervous systems. This is a requirement for a few things we are navigating with our family this season.

So how do you do this… reduce stress, increase rest and regulation when the pressure is on to get it ALL DONE, and have a great dang time doing it?

I want to share ways to rest inside of a busy time.

But first, what is “rest?” 
Here are a few definitions to help you determine whether you are resting…

“A period of time in which you relax, do not do anything active, or sleep.” – Cambridge Dictionary

“To rest means to relax into something and let it support you.”
“To take a short break from one’s activities in order to relax.” – Vocabulary.com

Okay—now we are reminded that resting is not about doing more; it is, if possible, about relaxing and maybe even sleeping!


Here are my tips and tricks for building in more rest:

Recognize the Pockets
Look for the little pockets already in your life and schedule where you can rest.
Notice them and lean back into them.  

When are things slower and quieter? 
When is there a natural pause between one activity and the next?
When is there a moment of waiting? In a line? A doctor’s office? A train?

Take those little pockets and let them be rest moments. You take a breath. You sit quietly. You stand for a moment and notice your feet. 

When you notice the pull to take out your phone you can say to yourself – “ah I am giving myself a little rest.”


Retreat
Get up, walk away from the table, desk, or computer, and find a few moments of rest.

Lay down on the couch and set a timer for 10-15 minutes. 
Take your coffee outside and sit on a front step without your screen or device.
Turn toward a window, watch things around you, or notice a plant or animal.


Replace
Replace the scrolling with seeing what your body needs.
Replace the “doing one more thing” with pausing and breathing.
Replace the screen with a little sleep.
Replace the taking a picture with being present to what you see.

You get the point. 😉


Reduce
Okay, this one is annoying! 
You may be like…. ”Annie, you said rest inside of a busy time!”

Y’all, honestly, the only way to get more rest is to do less. 

This is so basic and yet hard to do that it is obnoxious, but most of us don’t stop DOING, and we are TIRED.

If you want more time to feel good in your body and be less grumpy with those you love… you have to reduce the number of things you take on. 

Now different people (and times in life) require different activity levels. 
You know you. You can probably determine whether you need to reduce a few things.

The basics of this skill are: 
1. Take something you feel you “should do” but don’t need to do.
2. Stop doing it. 
3. Say, “I am not available.” Say, “Oh, I wish I could, but I’ve overcommitted myself.”

This is my hardest one AND the one that gains me the most rest. 
The trick is to NOT put more “doing” in the place of the thing you reduced. 
Instead, REST FIRST – start with lying down on the floor!

A note:
Adding more rest when the pressure is on can be difficult. 
In the long term, to avoid burnout, your body and mind need longer, sustained periods of rest and ongoing rest practices. I will share a few additional ways to increase rest in the coming months.


The go-to resource for Rest & Liberation – Tricia Hersey:

A fabulous teacher and resource for rest is Tricia Hersey & The Nap Ministry

“Rest is a form of resistance because it pushes back and disrupts white supremacy and capitalism.
Our bodies are a site of liberation. And that brings into the somatics the idea that wherever our bodies are, we can find rest.”

Rest as Resistance Tenets #1 & #2, Tricia Hersey

Tricia Hersey on NPR

Tricia Hersey’s book – Rest is Resistance: a Manifesto

The Nap Ministry’s Rest Deck

Rheanna SmithSimple tips to add rest into a busy summer schedule
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Excellent leaders never stop working on this one thing

The journey to become a more thoughtful, caring leader does not end at…

  • the newly acquired job or role,
  • the completion of a successful project to change an unhealthy organizational habit, or
  • a team member telling you thank you for being an incredible listener and agent of positive change. 

(Although, dang! Congrats on any of these accomplishments!)

If you are about leadership

  • as an action, art, and practice,
  • are committed to supporting groups of people experiencing accomplishment and enjoyment from the work, and
  • want our communities to be places where all people can live in safety, peace, and even delight…

then your leadership learning never ends. 
At the core of this ongoing journey is your personal awareness.

I work with badass leaders, y’all!

I have the incredible opportunity to sit in coaching and group spaces with thoughtful humans who create systemic change, move money to create more equity and update policies that increase people’s ability to thrive at work.

The most successful, seasoned leaders I work with know they are not done learning.

They look critically and lovingly at their thinking and behaviors. They examine how they show up in space, their impact on other humans, and their relationship patterns.

If you aim to improve a system, enhance a team’s effectiveness, or promote equity in your policies, your personal growth can be the largest catalyst. You can improve culture with just 5-10% of your time and energy directed toward changing your behavior.

This work will be even more effective if you do it from a place of self-compassion, belonging, and graciousness. (Just like the work with your team and community will go further if you do it from a place of self-compassion, belonging, and graciousness.)

You may say –

“Okay, so this all sounds nice, Annie – but I have a gazillion things on my plate.

I oscillate between feeling rushed and frustrated, important conversations, putting out fires, and emails. I already have training and projects I am moving forward with my team. How am I going to fit in more learning and growth?

DANG! It is too much.”

And you are right. It is all too much. 

(You may have to say no to an important project at some point – but that is a different letter.)

But if you knew that pulling one lever – that you DO have control over – would make a lot of the pieces easier (and later on even more enjoyable), would you do it?

Understanding yourself and your impact is one of the most important elements of leadership. At a certain point in people’s leadership journeys, it gets left behind when, in actuality, the work of self-awareness and personal growth needs to increase throughout the journey.

Guess what? 

It is simpler than you think (maybe not easier, but simpler).

Here is a short process and questions to ask yourself:

  1. Find a short way to build more space in your week for a quiet moment that fills your cup.
    (This could be 10 mins A WEEK of exercise, a walk, meditation, writing, listening to music.)

  2. Practice noticing your thoughts, emotions, reactions, and patterns with curiosity and with less judgment, shame, or blaming others. 

    “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” calls this “watching like a hawk. 
    See steps #1, #4  and resources to support this

  3. Ask yourself – how could I continue to improve in my relationships with others?
    (Again, work on examining these improvements without deep judgment or shame.)

  4. Pick one area you want to work on and bring in learning, and then practice first with trusted, caring people in your life.

  5. If you want to go deeper… ask for feedback from others and find outside support to process that feedback. 

    Receive an honest evaluation process. Ask trusted peers for feedback. Take training in an area of growth with homework and practice. 

    And PAIR feedback with ongoing support while you work with the new knowledge—perhaps a therapist, group, or coach.

Up next  – I will share a few of the ways I am digging in and learning as a leader right now.

Resources & continued learning:
Getting Personal: Critical Self-Reflection in Anti-Racism Work
Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Self-compassion
People and Culture trainings

Annie Von EssenExcellent leaders never stop working on this one thing
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How to bring in joy & intention when  building partnerships [Leaders Creating Change Series]

Thoughtfully built relationships are vital to creating long-term partnerships that support your work, mission, and also support you in your leadership. I am always looking to learn better and different ways to be in relationships and in partnerships with fellow humans – so that together we can create social change and experience joy and delight along the way.

I want to share more opportunities for you to gather and hear from thoughtful leaders building toward equity and social change in their communities.

I recently had the joy of talking with Amanda Thomas, Director, Community Partnership for Tacoma Public Schools. We spoke about how she shows up in spaces, builds community, and creates long-term partnerships. Amanda is one of my favorite leaders to work with and it was a delight to hear her talk about her leadership and work.

Hear what Amanda says about building relationships even in institutional capacities:

You can probably tell from our conversation that Amanda brings joy into her work and the communities she’s a part of, so I wanted to know how joy fits into building relationships for her. She said…

Amanda offered the reminder that it IS enough to simply be in relationship with each other. Building relationships thoughtfully over time supports your growth as a leader and your ability to create something bigger and more meaningful. Investing time in the relationship without considering what you have to gain creates trust and space for learning and creativity. This allows you to make more significant and impactful changes.

We can’t do any of our change work alone.

If we’re going to build larger solutions, we have to be in conversations with each other and hear diverse perspectives. We must be able to see and talk about the problems with people who view them differently.

It’s more than just partnerships, though. As leaders, we have to identify and find the support we need intentionally. I asked Amanda how she has built a support community around herself. She finds support in others but also in herself.


I’m grateful to have found support in my relationship with Amanda. My hope for you is that you have built or are building partnerships and communities of support for yourself, too. 

In what ways are you putting energy into relationships simply for the joy and act of being in community?

A massive thank you to Amanda for joining me and for always showing up in spaces and giving very freely to community. 

Interested in the full interview with Amanda? To learn more about building relationships and partnerships, grab it here.

Rheanna SmithHow to bring in joy & intention when  building partnerships [Leaders Creating Change Series]
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There’s a difference between rest and reflection. Spoiler alert: You need both.

“Being a leader is not about production; it’s about being there for the people I lead, support, and serve. And I need to prepare myself to be a decent human being so that
I can be there for others and be approachable.”
– Andrew, Clear Harbor member

I have to exist as a human to show up at work. And when I show up as a cog and a machine, I feel the least fulfilled in my life.”
– Shannon, Clear Harbor member

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had many conversations about rest and reflection. We talked about why it’s important and how to fit it into our busy lives. The two quotes I shared above were from those conversations and examples of why we must find time to rest and reflect individually and in groups if we want to show up as leaders in our lives. 

Rest can happen when you reflect, but rest is not always reflection time. Sometimes the reflection piece gets left behind. We hear a lot about self-care and well-being on the topic of rest. But often, reflection is missing.

Leaders, in particular, need both rest and reflection to:

  • keep going,
  • keep leading, 
  • stay in their role (and lane), 
  • not burn out,  
  • make decisions, and 
  • recognize that pauses are necessary. 

Leaders need built-in time to reflect on themselves. The results? You avoid bringing knee-jerk reactions and your own bias to your team. We must reflect internally first before we can show up and lead a reflection with others. Reflection can bring you back to your why and passion and help you feel human. Time for reflection for yourself and then in groups is a critical tool for building a more equitable and inclusive workplace.

“Your goal is not to stick to a given schedule at all costs; it’s instead to maintain, at all times,
a thoughtful say in what you’re doing with your time.”
– Cal Newport, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

Most times, teams will retrospect at the end of a project by looking at how things went, what worked, what didn’t work, and what can be improved. But you can do this at any time as a team! Build those moments into groups in the arc of the process with reflection points to pause and observe. 

I build rest and reflection into meetings – we stop, take a breath, take a break, and look away from the screens and each other. We write on our own before we share in the group. These practices are critical when building your team and group processes. 

At times, I work with teams after they’ve missed opportunities to reflect – on the big picture or on cultural dynamics. They always had lots of work to complete but little time to reflect. The good news? It’s never too late to change this. We can find time to reflect. 

You CAN build in time to reflect starting now to avoid big crises and conflicts in the future. When you practice slowing down and reflecting now, you will remember how to do it in the middle of stressful moments and not leap into fast decision-making based on assumptions and stories. When we slow down and recognize our own biases, we change how we do things. That’s one step toward making our work more equitable and inclusive. 

This is one reason I created Clear Harbor for leaders – more here if you’re intrigued.
Clear Harbor is a built-in time for groups of people to reflect outside of the day-to-day pressures to respond.
It’s a commitment on your calendar to other people.
It’s a space to step back and reflect with a more significant viewpoint.

We not only show you it’s possible to build this into your workday, but we show you how.  

I promised you a list of ways to build in time for rest and reflection. You can grab the list here. Remember, this isn’t MY list. These thoughts and ideas are from friends, clients, colleagues, and maybe even from you. Browse the list and see if anything sparks your interest. Try a few of the ideas yourself.

How can you build reflection into your day?

Rheanna SmithThere’s a difference between rest and reflection. Spoiler alert: You need both.
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Staying Awake to Others While Navigating Change

As a leader, the people you work with are the key – to creating and building something beautiful and enjoying the work you’re doing. Without people, without a team, the vision does not move forward. Many leaders I work with are working with people who care deeply and work hard. And they are tired and navigating change after unsettling change.

And, the leaders I work with are navigating personal and professional challenges daily. 

P.S. Everyone I work with is a leader because I follow this definition of leadership.*

It is easy to lose sight of how everyone around you is doing when you have so much to do. 

However, there can be detrimental impacts when you are not staying connected to your team, peers, and humans in your life. When we are not paying attention to those around us – we lose the warmth of human connection, love, and care. We lose the insights and visions offered up by different people who see the world and its opportunities differently than we do. We lose out on the potential to build a strong team or a thoughtful family. When we are not attending to our teams and people, relationships may end. We miss the chance to offer support, and we miss the opportunity to grow and learn.

I’ve had moments in my life and my business where I was feeling so overwhelmed that I did not take the time needed to care about the core people in my life. The memories of those moments cause an ache in my heart and belly. 

I am aware that: 

  • I was not living out my values, and 
  • I need to ensure that I do not get to the point of overwhelm that causes me to cut off connections to others.

I continue to work on this in my life. 

How do I live out my value of being in intentional, meaningful relationships with my partners, clients, community, and family while juggling the work of being a human?

Here is a check-in to help you stay connected to your team, the people you work with, and the people you care about in your personal life.
There are four areas to pay attention to 1. tending, 2. tuning, 3. checking in, and 4. changing.

Download this check-in tool here!

Give yourself a mini-audit. 

In your relationships, how are you tending, tuning in, checking in, and changing?

What is ONE thing you can do in ONE of the areas with a teammate or loved one?

No one person can do it all!

Of course, we cannot be connected to everyone on our team or in our community at all times. We need to make choices about who we are investing in and who are the critical relationships for us. And we need to be aware of how much time and capacity we have. It helps to write down who you are committed to being in the right relationship with. 

Others may be acquaintances and colleagues you invest less energy in but treat with respect. If you are in a formal leadership position, you will need to foster skills across your company to help everyone stay connected and check in with staff. 

(You know I am going to say this – but here’s a reminder – to be tuned in and awake to what is happening with others… you need to be awake to yourself and take care of yourself. If there is no energy left in your engine, these practices will be hard to do! Be on the lookout for more in March about staying awake to yourself!)


P.S. Here are some additional resources for Step 3 – Checking In:
4 essential human connections we all need right now
Simple ways to connect with each other, even virtually
How to stay open when you are ready to shut the conversation down
Tips for staying open & non-defensive in difficult conversations
5 Steps for Grounding During Instability
5 steps for grounding during instability pdf
2 questions that cut back the stress

* Vessel Consulting uses Brene Brown’s definition of leadership, “A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.”

Rheanna SmithStaying Awake to Others While Navigating Change
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Shift your current situation while staying put.

Something needs to change. You can feel it in your muscles or hear it from a quiet, determined voice inside. Perhaps it is a small change whispering to do it differently. Maybe you know something big needs to shift and are feeling antsy and excited.

But what if you cannot make the change right now? Or the way forward isn’t clear?

Focus on what is in front of you and in your control. You can always make subtle changes in your environment and in your own response.
Watch this video for actions you can take now to shift your current situation before you make a bigger change.


You do not have to leap all at once. Little shifts in your current environment can lead to new openings and perspectives. 

(Missed part one, check it out here – 4 steps to begin a transition.)

Need to see this all in writing? Download the accompanying guide!

Getting ready for a transition and not wanting to do it alone? 

In a leadership position striving for positive community change and in support of justice for black and brown people?

I am starting a special edition Clear Harbor cohort specifically focused on leaders who are contemplating a career or life transition. There are only 3 spots left!

Let’s talk!  Plus more info.

Rheanna SmithShift your current situation while staying put.
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4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life

Why, you may ask, am I offering up thoughts on making a big transition in a pandemic and during economic instability?

Many clients and friends are thinking about making large (and small) life transitions.

Multiple times a week I talk with someone about changing a career or finding a new way to do things.

The pandemic, the fight for justice for black and brown people, the economic uncertainty is causing many people to get clear on how they want to show up in the world and where they want to put their efforts.

And some of us are in the thick of the biggest challenges of our lives. There is little time to think of the next hour. If you are there, this first video could still offer a place to carve a little breathing room for what happens in a few years.

Check out these 4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life.

I’ve created this guide with all 4 steps as a resource for you.

Getting ready for a transition and not wanting to do it alone?

In a leadership position striving for positive community change and in support of justice for black and brown people?

I am starting 2 new Clear Harbor cohorts this February. One is specifically focused on leaders who are contemplating a career transition. 

Let’s chat – more info here and jump on my calendar to talk more.

Rheanna Smith4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life
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