Leadership

Why I love meetings and how you can too

Meetings… there were already so many dreaded meetings. And now most of us are still doing meetings online with glitchy internet looking at little screens scrambling for a background that hides the messy dishes. (Just noticing do all my notes include dirty dishes… yes there are a lot of dirty dishes in my life!)

Guess what – I am one of those weird people who likes meetings!
I know, I know… it’s true. I built a whole business around being in meetings (small and even very large). And often it is with people I don’t know well. People who are trying to make a plan for the future of their work together.

And I love it!

Can I tell you why I love it?
(The secret can also help you enjoy a few more meetings.)

I love meetings because I get to learn more about other people and connect to their stories while moving forward critical, purpose-driven work.

These are my favorite things – being with people and moving a plan forward!

Good meetings do these two things almost always…

  1. Connect people – relationships are built, and people come away understanding other people’s stories and perspectives more than before.
  2. Move forward purpose-driven action – decisions are made, ideas are discussed, and people come away with meaningful tasks that move the whole group toward their purpose.

Double-check the meetings you are a part of. 
Do your meetings connect people and move forward action items?


Or do you have meetings that are:

  • just a download of someone’s agenda or priorities.
  • all about those next steps and action without any opportunity to build teamwork & relationship.
  • meandering and unclear.

Think through these two questions when planning the next meeting:

Is there 10-15 minutes for human connection?

Is there space to discuss, make decisions, and clearly set up next steps?

Want more on how to support your teams and move them toward action and connection? Let’s talk!

Rheanna SmithWhy I love meetings and how you can too
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Show up for your team without depleting yourself

You are doing a lot. 

As the world continues to shift around us, our commitments require a lot of energy.
The pandemic and the continued fight for racial justice serves as a reminder of the need for action on so many fronts.

So maybe you find yourself run down and tired at the end of the day. Maybe you find yourself on autopilot. Or perhaps you are cranking up the speed to stay ahead of the next change.

Wherever you find yourself, I know how much people depend on you.

When we are committed to creating positive community change, connection, inclusion and love in our work lives and at home, we are tasked with offering up our time and attention to others.

Your team needs you. Your coworkers need you. Your friends and family need you. People depend on you to show up every day and make space to plan and strategize with them. 

Everyone needs to be seen and supported. 

I know that when I am already at my max for energy and capacity figuring out just how to offer myself up can be a real struggle.

I promise you – you can have the energy you need and stay connected with people on your team (and in your life) at the same time.

Here is a simple checklist that can help you stay connected and be supportive of your team WHILE feeling less stress and more energy.

Before you dive in – take a grounding breath. (Inhale, exhale.) The key is simple, small, consistent check-ins with yourself and others. It just requires you to slow down a tiny bit.

  1. How is your own energy and capacity? What are you doing to boost your own capacity? Once you’ve given yourself a boost – you will experience more energy to do the work of supporting others.  
  2. Where can you carve out specific time out in your day for your own breathing room, and space for the people on your team?
  3. What everyday practices can you build into your workflow and conversations that allow you and others to understand each other better and communicate more readily?
  4. What open-ended and curious questions can you add to your repertoire that force you to slow down and listen deeply? (For example – “Can you tell me more about that?”, “Do you have ideas for what you want to try next?”) 
    (For example – “Can you tell me more about that?”, “Do you have ideas for what you want to try next?”)
  5. What simple actions can you (and others) take that actively demonstrate your support for your team and what structures can you build to allow your team members to support each other?
  6. What consistent gestures can you offer that weave in appreciation, acknowledgment and celebration with your team?

    (P.S. If you don’t work with a team sub out the word “team” for any person or small group of humans you are in a relationship with.)

Want a more detailed guide? I made one just for you here.

You’ll find that teamwork is more effective when people feel actively seen, acknowledged, and supported. As a leader, both you and your team will experience increased creativity, vision, and willingness to take risks once you take the time to tend to your team. You’ll encounter less harmful, unaddressed conflicts because trust, relationships and communication allow issues to surface. 

Over time, well-tended teams become more efficient and build capacity to problem solve, generate new ideas, and take on more responsibility… which eventually frees up your own energy.

When we are tired or pushed to the limit, we can miss the opportunities to nurture our relationships.

Take good care of yourself and find one easy way to check in with your people.

Rheanna SmithShow up for your team without depleting yourself
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4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life

Why, you may ask, am I offering up thoughts on making a big transition in a pandemic and during economic instability?

Many clients and friends are thinking about making large (and small) life transitions.

Multiple times a week I talk with someone about changing a career or finding a new way to do things.

The pandemic, the fight for justice for black and brown people, the economic uncertainty is causing many people to get clear on how they want to show up in the world and where they want to put their efforts.

And some of us are in the thick of the biggest challenges of our lives. There is little time to think of the next hour. If you are there, this first video could still offer a place to carve a little breathing room for what happens in a few years.

Check out these 4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life.

I’ve created this guide with all 4 steps as a resource for you.

Getting ready for a transition and not wanting to do it alone?

In a leadership position striving for positive community change and in support of justice for black and brown people?

I am starting 2 new Clear Harbor cohorts this February. One is specifically focused on leaders who are contemplating a career transition. 

Let’s chat – more info here and jump on my calendar to talk more.

Rheanna Smith4 doable steps to move toward a big (or small) transition in your work and life
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How to stay open when you are ready to shut the conversation down

My throat tightens and my neck and shoulders pull in toward my back.
She says to me again, “I am wondering if we can talk more about what just happened?”

Everything quickens, my mind jumps, and I think, “What did I do? What is wrong?”

I begin to feel nervous and a bit ashamed.
I do not like feeling ashamed.
And I know for me nervous often leads to anxious.
I do not like anxious… I want this feeling to end quickly, now.
 
I blurt out “oh I know, I know… I didn’t mean to” before she has even finished her second sentence.
Whew that took care of that – now we can move on!
 
Or another time… my heartbeat quickens, my face flushes hot.
This person is telling me their opinion and whoa are they so wrong!
“Oh no you don’t,” I think… “you have no idea… you do not understand the reality of the situation in the least.”
 
I jump in and interject my opinion, explaining the correct way, of course!
 
And they fly back with an even hotter remark about the way we see it. Game on!
Or they clench their jaw and stop talking. And I have won.
 
These could be hypothetical examples of moments when we lose our cool, are about to receive tough feedback, or hear a viewpoint that is completely different than ours.
 
However, they are not hypothetical for me – both instances happened in the last four weeks.

You may relate.
 
My quick response to protect myself from feeling anything does not help anything change nor does it lead to better relationships.
I am working at not going into these states of behavior immediately.
I try to slow down and stay open.
 
When I can stay open, non-defensive and listen, I can: 

  • deepen my connection with colleagues,
  • develop the muscles to stay in moments that are uncomfortable,
  • learn that I can become a more aware & empathetic version of myself.

Here are the steps I take in the middle of a challenging conversation to stay open.


(Oh, did you miss part 1? Check out this video about why we shut conversations down.

I made a downloadable guide just for you (and me) – with the steps I use to stay non-defensive when the conversation gets sticky.
 
A few of my favorite resources are in the guide too!

May we all deepen our ability to engage in rich, fruitful, world changing conversations with each other.

Rheanna SmithHow to stay open when you are ready to shut the conversation down
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Why we shut down when the conversation gets difficult & what to do about it

There is one skill I am using more than any other in this time of Covid, US elections, & racial justice movement building, and no it is not bread baking (although Elino and I are making a scrumptious focaccia these days). 

The skill I continue to need is “how to stay open & non-defensive during a difficult conversation.” I need this skill to maintain relationships with those I love, and to work toward change through long Zoom calls.

Staying open and non-defensive is not always easy for me. 

I continue to learn, practice, fail, & try again. 

I keep trying to change how I show up because I believe if I can be open and non-defensive, I will hear more, learn more, and be a part of bridging the divides in understanding that exist in our world & nation (instead of creating more of them).

I believe this is one of the most important skills for being in loving relationships, building a high-functioning, honest team, and moving toward racial, climate, & economic justice.

I am excited to share what I do and the resources I use to deepen this skill!

Start here with a video about why we usually shut down when the conversation starts to feel hard. And what you can do before you are in a tricky conversation so you have the ability to stay open when it gets heated.


Next week be on the lookout for part 2 with tips for how to stay non-defensive while you are in the middle of an important conversation, plus amazing resources I love, and a cheat sheet!

Rheanna SmithWhy we shut down when the conversation gets difficult & what to do about it
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