Get It Done

Make a big change in your career and life

February 17, 2021
Make a big change in your career and life

In the past few weeks, I offered up steps to take in preparation for a life transition and what you can do to create a shift without making the immediate big change.

Now I am sharing a process that sets you up to make a big life or career transition.

There are two ways to use these tools:

  1. Try out these steps when you know you are ready to implement a change in your life and you feel, “this is it! Now is the time!”
  2. Use any of these tools to move you closer to the change you want in your life or career sometime in the future. Hint – these processes work at ANY TIME to give you more clarity and alignment in your life!


If this moment in our history has awakened something inside you, igniting your creativity and a new direction, and you are ready for a change – use these tools to begin decisive action.

If this time of challenge has provided you or your family with clarity that what is currently occurring cannot continue in the same way – use these tools to walk toward a more sustainable future.

And if you are currently working hard to manage each moment in front of you, using your energy to tend to your well-being and your family’s well-being, and cannot possibly think of or talk about a change right now – you are not alone!

You can try only one of the first steps to gently lay the groundwork for the possibilities of what you want to come in a year or two. (Or come back to this process when you are ready.)

Here is the guide that includes these tools, plus the previous processes offered for building towards a transition in your life.

May you be well as you move toward change or stead yourself right where you are.

Rheanna SmithMake a big change in your career and life
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Overwhelmed? Stop and get organized!

May 19, 2015
Overwhelmed? Stop and get organized!

When the list of to-do’s, calls to return, and emails in your inbox is growing at a steady rate, it is easy to get overwhelmed.

When you’re overwhelmed, it feels like there are piles everywhere and you just cannot get ahead of them, no matter what you do. The laundry and dishes pile up. The email threads get lost in digital piles. And looking at the real paper piles on your desk can make you cringe.

It is hard to know what to do next. And it seems like things are never going to be “done.”

What we want to do in times of overwhelm is keep going!
We tell ourselves: Do this one more thing. And then this. And then go over here and do this. Keep going! It will get better if I just keep going!
But it does not get better.

Good news! I have learned a key trick that can help reduce overwhelm within a few hours. You probably know it too. It’s simple — and we almost never do it.

Stop. Get organized!

This is not what we want to do. Looking at all those piles of work increases our anxiety, and we usually want to flee from it. I know I do.

I promise that if you get organized, you will feel better. You may have to push through that first bout of anxiety, but you will feel better! And getting organized improves the chances you will actually accomplish the task you set out to do.

I did this earlier this month.

Right now, I have a number of projects going, including quite a bit of on-site facilitation. At the end of April, I was beginning to wonder how I was going to get it all done.

My first response was to put my head down and just push through. To ignore the piles that were building up around me and simply take care of the next task… and the next… and the next.

I pride myself on being there for my clients. In order to do that, I actually needed to be there for myself first.

So inside of blindly running forward, I set aside an afternoon and evening to get organized. I did not delve into any pending tasks or to-do’s. Instead I cleaned up and fine-tuned my systems.

Here is what I did:

Manage the project and work backwards from deadlines

First I tackled my project management system. I cleaned up the software I use for project management. (I use Asana for business, client and personal projects.) I made sure all my major projects were in the system, with their monthly and weekly tasks. I worked backwards from my deadlines and set completion dates for the key components of each project.

Review daily to-do’s

I use my project management tool and calendar to tell me what needs to happen and when. And I keep track of my daily to-do’s in an actual paper notebook that is always with me. (I know most people are fully digital now – I just cannot give up the great feeling of crossing off tasks on a piece of paper. AND this process allows me to step away from the computer during the day.)Each day I write out two to four to-do’s and/or meetings. If I have more than four to-do’s, I know my project timelines are off and I am not going to get everything done.

Clean up the calendar

I took a look at my calendar and made sure it was “telling the truth.” I reviewed the last few weeks and previewed the weeks coming up. This means that what my calendar says I am doing and what I have planned to do is ACTUALLY what is occurring. When I revisit my calendar, I learn how I am spending my time. That helps me be more realistic about how long it will take me to complete upcoming tasks. I ask myself, “Can I really get this done by then? And what other chunks of time will it take to get this task done?”

Get emails under control

I got back on top of my emails in a few steps. I scanned my email. I responded to anything I could handle quickly. For emails that needed a more thoughtful response, I used Boomerang in Gmail to send messages out of my inbox and back to me at a time when I could focus on them. And I deleted A WHOLE bunch of email, making sure to unsubscribe when pertinent. When I am receiving too much email, I change my email priorities. I respond only to clients, potential clients, friends, and family. I delete the articles and “forwards” in my inbox and start fresh.

Clear the decks

As I worked through this process, I paid attention to tasks that could come off my plate. I asked myself, “What can I move to next month? What can I do a few months from now?” I revised some deadlines in my project management system. I canceled a few appointments. I asked for more help from other people on my team. I decided whether some tasks were truly critical, and whether I needed to do them. I took some tasks off my plate completely. Yes, I actually chose to NOT do some things that were on my to do list.

I know my priorities this month. I have fewer piles. I know what needs to get done. I gave myself permission to let a few things slide for the next five weeks (things like laundry and home-cooked meals).

The whole thing took about four hours. When I was finished organizing, I was tired! And I still felt residual overwhelm.

But the next morning I woke up refreshed! I knew what I needed to tackle and I was no longer avoiding my email or calendar.

This month and the beginning of June are full of good work and good times with my loved ones. I know I will have to stop and get organized again — maybe more than once. I will also need to take an hour at the end of every other day to straighten out my email, my calendar, and my project management system.

If you’re overwhelmed by the work, set aside the time to get your systems in order. When you know what you need to get done, your overwhelm will decrease significantly.

Piles all around you?
Before you do another task, stop and get organized!

Annie Von EssenOverwhelmed? Stop and get organized!
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One simple way to get unstuck

November 20, 2014
One simple way to get unstuck

When you have a big problem and you are feeling stuck, I have a tool for getting unstuck — ask for help!

Over the last few weeks I have learned a lot about taking risks and creating something new.
My biggest learning has been that I cannot do it alone.

I am someone who loves to give help. It feels good to be of use and to support someone else. Just look at my work: it’s built on giving advice!

What I don’t like is asking for help.

When I ask for help, I feel vulnerable. I’m giving up control. I can’t dictate exactly what sort of help I’m going to get. I don’t get to choose how that help is going to be delivered.

If asking for help makes you feel uncomfortable, too, here’s where that feeling comes from:

When you ask for help, you are actually saying, “I cannot do this on my own. I need support.” The dominant U.S. culture teaches us that asking for help is weak. We’re taught that we should be able to do everything on our own — that being a successful human is an individual thing.

That teaching is a lie. We are all interconnected.

Any major change in our lives is done in community. Whether we’re raising a baby, launching a project or moving into a new home, we’re changing alongside of other human beings.

We need each other.

If you have a grand plan you want to implement, or you’re feeling overwhelmed by too much work or too much life — you need help. And that’s a good thing!

Asking for help opens up a new way of seeing a problem.
It allows the weight of the work to be shared.
It increases the energy going toward a solution.

When you ask for help, you are no longer alone. And when you are supported you will begin to see new ways forward.

You can reduce stress and increase your creative potential by asking for support.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when asking for help:

Pick the right folks for the job.

Who has the experience? Likes this kind of project? Can handle it? Who is someone you would like to have around, who would probably like to help you?

Decide what kind of help you need.

Figure out exactly what you need help with. What are you looking for (and not looking for)? What are your time frames?

Ask.

Make an explicit request – don’t beat around the bush. Make your request very specific and clear.

Be prepared for “No.”

Give folks a chance to get off the hook when you ask. If someone says they cannot help, don’t hold that against them. Treat them the way you’d want to be treated if you could not help.

Be clear and set boundaries.

Make sure your community knows what kind of support you need and what you do not need. Keep the ownership and responsibility for the task as yours.

Hire a professional.

If your own community cannot help OR it is going to put too much burden on them, hire a professional. This could be a therapist for processing an experience, a mover to help you transition to a new home, or a marketing specialist for promotions.

Say thank you.

Thank you goes a long way. Please say it! In person, via email, or by snail mail, let your helpers know you appreciate them.

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Questions for reflection:

What are you needing a little support for and who can you ask?
How can you say thank you to for support in the past?

Write an answer in the comments below or jump on over to my Facebook page and comment.

Annie Von EssenOne simple way to get unstuck
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How to Take a Short Break

June 26, 2014
How to Take a Short Break

We were not built to sit all day! We are active, creative creatures. But we are so used to working straight through without stopping that we may have forgotten how to take a break. It’s hard to get into the habit, but a little advance preparation will help you enjoy your break and return to the work refreshed.

If you missed it I have a post about why taking a break is essential for your creativity, productivity and sanity – HERE.  And a post about preparing for a longer break – HERE.

Steps to taking a short break:

  1.  Decide to take a break and stick to that decision. You have to make an active decision to take care of yourself.
  2. Pick one doable thing to finish before you take a break. Choose what it is and do that one thing.(Unless you are just DONE and you need to get away from the desk immediately. In that case, walk away from the computer!)
  3. Jot down one thing you will work on when you return. What are you going to pick up and work on? What are you going to finish when you return?  If you pick something small and doable it helps.  This gets you back into the work instead of taking a break and then returning to your desk and surfing on the internet.
  4. Prep yourself to enjoy the break.  What can you leave behind?  What would you like to gain from the little break?  I know this seems silly but it works!  Tell yourself, “I am going to let go of this worry about the meeting tomorrow. I am as prepared as I can be. I am going to take a break and shift my focus so I can return with more energy.” A relaxing productive break is more likely to happen than if you wander to the break room or walk outside without intention.
  5. Pick your break activity.
  6. Set a clear time for your break and stick to it. If you head out for an hour and return two hours later and then feel behind, you will be less likely to trust yourself in the future. If you head out for a half-hour lunch and decide instead to just grab your lunch and return to your desk, guess what?  You didn’t have a break!
  7. See if you can think of one small thing you are grateful for in your work. What is a positive thing you get to do or experience in your work? Who benefits from your work? What does having a job allow you do, or who does it allow you to support and care for?  Remember that one thing as you head back into work.
  8. You’re ready. Now, get up and move your body and relieve your mind!

Quick Break Ideas

It does not have to be a big production!

  • Stop working, close your eyes and think of three things you are grateful for.
  • Stop working, close your computer and take three deep breaths.
  • Walk around the block alone.
  • Walk around the block with a co-worker.
  • Head to a café for a half an hour – alone, with a co-worker, or perhaps with a book or a journal.
  • Take a timed nap. (Could be during your lunch break or in your car.)
  • Head to the bathroom and splash cold water on your face. Or put the toilet seat down and sit in the stall alone for a few minutes. (Really! This is a great place to take a few breaths or even meditate.)
  • Leave to get lunch and eat it out of the office.
  • Run one FUN errand
  • Eat your lunch away from your desk.
  • Take a personal day and do something you love doing for the WHOLE day.
  • Pick your kids up early from school and go do something you all love to do (ice cream or the park perhaps).
  • Stand up away from your desk and stretch.

How to enjoy the break

To experience the benefits of taking a break, please don’t think about work. And don’t feel bad: you are entitled to a break.

Remind yourself that the work will be there when you get back. Remember to breathe. Slow down during the break. Do something you enjoy. Feel grateful during the break for the experience.

If you feel guilty about taking breaks, practicing taking very short breaks will help you reduce your guilt over time. Taking breaks will make you a more enjoyable person to be around and a better co-worker too.

What can you add to this list?  What quick breaks do you take to get away from work?

Annie Von EssenHow to Take a Short Break
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Need Something Say Something

May 13, 2014
Need Something Say Something

One of scariest, hardest things at work, or in any life situation, is having an honest conversation. By “honest conversation,” I mean a situation when you need to talk about something that has been on your mind or in your heart, and you are going to ask for someone else to respond.

What stops people from having honest conversations? Fear. Always. Maybe what you need to talk about is something you have been afraid to say out loud. You could be afraid of being misunderstood, hurting someone’s feelings, getting yelled at, or being judged. At work you could even fear losing your job.

When you need to have a hard conversation, you will experience fear. But if you don’t have the conversation, two things are almost certainly guaranteed: Things will not change. And they might get even worse.

When I talk about the need for honest conversations, one topic that comes up a lot is: “Something needs to change at work for me to be happier.” There is a lot on the line with this conversation. If you talk with your boss about what you need in order to experience satisfaction at work, you may hear that what you want is not possible. Or even worse, that you are being unreasonable. You could strain your relationship with your supervisor.

But if you do not bring up your needs at work, then things will continue as usual.

This may result in decreased job satisfaction and increased stress. It could even cause depression. Also, if you don’t talk about it, you won’t know if your job situation could get better.

Wait! What happens if you do have the honest conversation?

If you talk with your supervisor about your needs at work, a lot could go right! You could brainstorm potential solutions together. This process could open up a healthy dialogue with your supervisor, and could improve collaboration. Your relationship could strengthen. Your honest conversation could benefit other employees in the organization.

What if you ask and do not receive support?

You will learn an important lesson about your employer’s ability to respond to employee needs. This could confirm that perhaps this job is not the right place for you. In fact, sometimes that is what we are afraid of confirming. It is good to get clear and know. The longer we hide from the fact that our job is not the right place for us the more we put off the work of finding a new job.  If you know then you can prepare for the future.

Is it worth it?

Yes! Take action. Have the conversation. If there is a path to improving things at work, you’re taking the first step toward making things better. Your coworkers could benefit. Your relationship with your supervisor could improve. At worst you will find out critical information about whether this job is the right place for you to be.*

Plan for the conversation

Think about who you can talk to and when it is the right time to talk with them. Start by speaking with your most direct supervisor (if you go over their head you will potentially alienate them). Can this person help enact a change in the organization? If not, know who else you will talk with. Lay the groundwork for the conversation ahead of time. Let them know you want to talk about how you are doing in the job. Ask for the support you need to improve your performance and satisfaction.

Prepare. Be ready to share concrete ideas. What would you like to change? What are some realistic ways you can see that things can change? Be ready to compromise and negotiate. Be prepared for tough questions and tough choices. What are you willing to give up to make a change occur?

Forgive

Yes, forgive. You may gain support and understanding to change the way you are doing or experiencing your job. That is great! But even after the change occurs, you may have residual anger toward your co-workers or even yourself. You may feel let down. You may feel frustrated by things that have occurred in the past. But if you do not work toward forgiving people in the organization, the changes you have made will not lead to feeling any better. So before you start, set an intention to forgive. Write down who you want to forgive and for what. If you pray or meditate, ask for help in forgiving those people. You can also see the person and silently say, “I am forgiving you for this.” Try doing this until you have forgiven them.
(You do not have to have an external conversation with anyone to forgive them.)

Commit to do the work and keep the conversation going

Change takes work, so be prepared to do your part. Be willing to continue the conversation about how you are doing in your job.

Have a Plan B

If the changes you are asking for are not possible, what are you going to do instead? What personal changes can help you offset your dissatisfaction with the job? Are there relationships at work that you can improve? Can you shift your ways of thinking about the work? What would you be doing if you weren’t doing this job? What is one step you can take toward a different way of engaging in the work, getting enjoyment outside of the work, or leaving your job?

Get support

Find people that you love and trust outside of your work to talk with. Tell them what you are struggling with at work. Ask them to listen as you talk through possible solutions including a Plan B. Ask them to hold you accountable to talk with people at work. Check in and report on how your conversation went, and what change is occurring.

Most work cultures do not support honest, open conversations. It is hard to be the person who speaks up for change and your own needs. But if you do not do it, things will not change.

A few honest conversations could make your job an easier place to work.

If you enjoy the work more, you will do better work. You will also be a happier person. Your family and loved ones will thank you. And you are worth it.

What else would you add to this list?  What has helped you have a successful conversation and change in the workplace?

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Note:

*Every once in a while someone has a supervisor who is just not supportive, period. This is rare. (Sometimes we don’t feel supported, but we haven’t opened up a dialogue.) If you know you have a supervisor who will not support you, then you have a different dilemma. If you believe your supervisor does not have your best interest in mind (or even the best interest of the organization) then they are NOT the right person to talk to. Find other management support in the organization and have a conversation about what you need to be successful in the company. Also get support and start working on a Plan B.

Annie Von EssenNeed Something Say Something
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Calm from the Top Down

April 8, 2014

Are you stressed? How about the people in your organization? There’s stress in every workplace.  A certain level of stress is OK – it gets people going, and keeps them motivated. It means they care about the work. But a lot of stress? That is no good. No good for your body, your mind, your organization, or your bottom line.

Excessive stress at work happens for lots of reasons: more work than there are people to do it, unclear direction, no sense of control, no time to take breaks from the work, and a constant state of urgency.

Brace yourself. This will be hard to hear.

Stress begins at the top and trickles down to senior directors, then middle managers, and weaves its way all the way down to staff. This means, if you’re a boss, a leader, or a manager, then you are responsible for the level of stress your employees are feeling. I know this is a bold and unpopular statement. I know we all have the responsibility for making good choices while managing our professional and personal lives.

But consider this:

If you are in a position of power, management, and decision-making, then you set the tone and priorities for your organization. If your company is stressed out, you hold some of the responsibility to usher people back from the brink, before you lose them for good.

If the people at your organization are experiencing unhealthy stress, it impacts your productivity and bottom line. Excessive stress leads to overwhelmed people who are slowing down. It increases negativity, and increases sick days and medical leave. And stress is contagious: stressed out people make other people stressed out! In a consistently high-stress workplace, your employees are unable to do their best work.

You can do something! You can set the tone and expectations for your organization. You can create a place where people want to work.

Let’s get concrete.

Your step-by-step action plan for reducing workplace stress:

Set the tone

Before you do anything else, take time to build a practice that helps you reduce stress.

Here are some starting points:
Find focus and priorities in your work. Clarify your work boundaries. Increase your work-free, joy-filled time. Take care of your body. Practice gratitude, and let go of things beyond your control.

This list may sound simple, but these practices fly in the face of the, “work your buns off so you can be seen as successful” norm. Stress reduction is a journey, not a quick fix. The good news is that as you find ways to reduce your own stress, you will be physically healthier, have more energy, and be more capable of leading your team.

Model your behaviors for co-workers, and you’ll be much closer to changing the culture of your organization. As other managers and directors change with you, you’ll be even further along to reducing everybody’s stress level

Support your employees

When you’re supervising employees, ask them, one-on-one, how much stress they are experiencing in their work. Where does the stress stem from? Ask for your employees’ ideas for reducing stress.

Be ready to hear things you do not want to. Prepare yourself to listen and look for solutions. If you ask the question and do not work to find solutions, you will decrease trust and increase stress. This is an ongoing conversation between you and the people you manage. Give each other time to look for solutions, try them out, and talk again.

Examine Policies and Boundaries

How has your organization decided what work must get done? Re-evaluate what you are prioritizing as “urgent.” Is there an expectation that people are always “at work”, even when they are home? Are employees always expected to answer the phone or emails, even on vacation? Even in legitimate work emergencies, how can responsibilities be shared across a team so everyone is not on duty all the time?

Define clear responsibilities, and priorities

Check in with folks about their job descriptions. Do they understand what is asked of them? Is it actually doable? Be ready to hear things you may not like, and be willing to brainstorm solutions.

Support people in deciding what must be done and by when. If a task should come off one employee’s plate, how can it be shifted or become a shared task with someone else?

Use these conversations to set clear priorities based on your strategic plans and company-wide goals. Re-visit priorities often, at the management level and with employees you’re supervising.

Set up meaningful fun and follow through

Brainstorm with your team the things they would like to celebrate. Every once in a while do these things! This could be as simple as gathering for sparkling cider in the middle of the day to congratulate the team on a successful project completion.

Hold your celebrations during work hours as often as you can. A brief break won’t hurt the work.  And too many extra-curriculars—even if they’re celebrations—become just one more work-related event that cuts into time off.

Hire more people or take on less work

A HUGE source of stress and overwhelm is people’s inability to finish the work within a reasonable workday. Talk with people about the workload. Find out how long tasks really take. Ask why certain tasks or projects are a struggle. Take on only the amount of work people can realistically accomplish.

As an employer, you should not take on every project that arises, unless you can support it with your current workforce or bring on more people. As a manager, you can speak up for your team as the workload increases.

Put the right people in the right job

If you have people doing the wrong work—work they do not have the right skill set for—they will feel unsuccessful and they will not be efficient. This creates additional stress for that employee and for their co-workers.

Having someone in a job they cannot perform successfully is cruel to them and bad for your organization. You can lose money and your reputation.

The right answer to this issue depends on the job and the individual. Your options are to move the person to a different position, get them the training they need, rebuild their job description to fit their skills, or let them go.

Do you want a productive organization where people enjoy coming to work, make an impact, and have a full life outside of work?

It’s up to you. Start with reducing your stress, and supporting your team to reduce theirs.

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More Resources:

Stressed? Here is why and what you can do about it!
Dwight Mihalicz
(Geared toward management)
effectivemanagers.com/dwight-mihalicz/stressed-here-is-why-and-what-you-can-do-about-it

How to reduce stress among employees at a nonprofit.
First Nonprofit Group
www.firstnonprofitcompanies.com/how-to-reduce-stress-among-employees-at-a-nonprofit

How to tell your boss about stress.
Monica Burton, Career Realism
www.careerealism.com/talking-boss-about-stress

How to make stress your friend.
Kelly McGonigal, Ted Talk
www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend

Annie Von EssenCalm from the Top Down
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How to have confidence during a downturn

June 4, 2012

I am working with multiple clients who are making huge life and career changes in the midst of our anxiety producing economy. One of my clients is in graduate school, more than a few years over 40 and completely changing his career trajectory. When we meet, I am inspired by his courage and his determination. I can only imagine how jolting it is too know so much and be treated like you are just beginning again.

Many of us in the United States, in the changed economy, are beginning again. And if we acknowledge it, we know that we are going to have to begin again fifty more times in our lives.

As my client gets ready to enter a new job market he also has a depth of skills from his old career. He is combining a past career in a creative field with a current Masters in a technical field. He has demonstrated persistence, adaptability, and stick-to-it-ness. It is clear to me that he has a multitude of skills to offer and is developing a clever response to a lay off and the downturn economy.

Yet he is still not getting noticed.
Even in his intern position people are not making use of the skills he has to offer.

Why?

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I know that it is very hard to get a job in this economy. I have seen the statistics. And it can be difficult to prove how your other skills apply in a new field. But, I think something deeper is happening. The sticking point is not just the skills we have. Rather I think it is the energy we project as we try and get the gig.

Once you have been turned down 3, 4 or 14 times during the resume, internship, or application process it is very hard to keep your head up. I was depressed and held little faith when I graduated in 2008. Rejection is exhausting. And future employers and colleagues can sense when you have already given up on yourself.

The job hunt, the career change, applying for school, finishing school, starting a business, maintaining a business requires two things: Persistence and confidence.

The very same two things under attack when you are beginning something new.

Does it feel like the universe is testing you a little? A lot?
Getting to the next level, the next step, your next dream is hard.

But the more confidence you project and persistence you display the wider the door opens.

Here are two practices I use for keeping persistence and confidence going:

1. Be endearingly annoying (persistence)

Do not give up. Go for one more interview. Ask for a meeting for the fourth time.
The trick is to be endearing while you ask – tap into the part of you that people like.

Ask yourself – what do my close friends and family like about me?

Now use this characteristic energetically. Hold on to that while you pick up the phone and ask directly to speak to the person in charge of hiring, or in charge of student services.

(My friends like my positive energy, joy and ability to see the possibility in a situation. I call on that when I have to call back about a project I applied for.)

2. Challenge the negative the minute it enters the scene (confidence)

You know that voice that plays over in your head when you do not get the interview. Or even as you try to fill an online form? The one that says “Why bother? You’re not going to get it.” And, “You must be really stupid.” And “You’re too young.” Or, You’re too old.”

Catch that voice in the act.

RESPOND with a positive truth.

Say, “I got you!” Then answer the fearful voice with another truth, a positive truth about yourself or a story from the past that deflates the nasty voice. “I have worked before and I’ve done great work for organizations.” “I am young and flexible.” “I am older and have years of experience.” “I am smart, savvy and courageous.”

Oh, and it helps if you find a cheerleader or two. Someone to keep the flame burning when you’re down.

Keep doing the work!

How do you keep persistent in spite of set backs?
How do you convey confidence when you’re pushing up hill?

Annie Von EssenHow to have confidence during a downturn
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Not doing it the “right” way

May 23, 2012

For those folks following along on my business journey – you may have noticed a quiet, static sound coming from my blog space.

Perhaps you thought, “Annie must be really busy with client projects.” And that is true, I have been.
I have directly experienced the truth that when you create something new and pour yourself into it opportunities come.

But that is not the main reason I haven’t been on my blog.

The main reason is fear.

The dreaded fear of “not doing it right the first time.” Do you know this fear? The voice in your head that says, “Just don’t bother doing it at all if you cannot get it right the first time.”
Something inside tells you there must be a certain, concrete way to do something for it to succeed. If you cannot do it that one, specific way do not bother because you will fail.

As my close friends know – I do not have this fear all the time. Often I will throw myself into a new project or idea with both feet, nose plugged, eyes clenched tight. I figure I will swim for sure once I am in the water.

I actually like that swirling, scary feeling of the plunge.

But when I have heard from numerous different people that there is one right way to do something – I freeze. I like to do things, well, umm, as close to perfect as humanly possible (which is actually not so perfect). When I am thinking about only one way to do or be, my inner critic gets full dominion of my mind.

I have spent the last 2 years reading the recommendations on how to blog by people who blog.
Blogging has a lot of experts!
How many days you should blog, how many words, how many pictures…

Too much noise, too many rules = stifled, gagged creativity.
I might as well stick my creativity down into a long jar and twist the lid tight.

So I am loosening the lid and letting some sunlight in.
I will give the rules a quick glance, take a deep breath, look the other way and jump with my two scared feet, in my timing.

Here is help dealing with the “do it right once” gene:

1. Give the rules a sideways glance.

find your truth
let go of the rest

2. Think about it less, do it more.

move that big toe forward & chill out the fast, fury of thoughts

3. Take the courage to be less perfect.

I am admitting I do not have the blog thing perfect, as I blog!

What are you not trying because you won’t get it perfect?
Whose rules are you listening to instead of your own clear voice?

You can do it your way.

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Want to read more on letting go of perfection…

Check out Brene Brown’s blog – Ordinary Courage

And for a good take on blogging rules…

Danny Brown writes about the blog every day myth on By Bloggers for Bloggers. (Thanks Kathy for sending me this great post.)

Annie Von EssenNot doing it the “right” way
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