A few weeks ago I began a series about “making it work at work.”
In the first post, I wrote about a technique for finding your balance in the workplace: actually realizing that “you are not your work.”
Check this post out if you haven’t already. Your Not Your Work
Let’s back up.
Why would you be in need of this reminder in the first place?
Well, a lot of us work A LOT.
Even when we are not at work we fret about our work, we check emails, we answer calls.
We even dream about our work!
With technology and increased expectations and demands to get more done with less time and a smaller staff, we carry our work with us. And then the parents among us are never really away from the work of parenting. Combine parenting with a job and the result is competing priorities, almost all the time.
Sometimes it can feel like work is sitting right between our shoulder blades all day and into the night —a subtle pressure between the bones.
That’s a heavy weight. It can lead to no longer liking your job (if you liked it in the first place). It can grow into a sense of dread whenever you think about going to the office. You may find yourself teetering once the edge of burnout, which I will write about in future posts.
If you feel tired, overwhelmed and overloaded with work, you can begin to reduce the burden by reminding yourself – YOU ARE NOT YOUR WORK. (That’s pretty loud, I know.) This technique is critical to avoid becoming fed up with your work.
But if you already know you are not your work – then what are you?
Right now you might be saying,
“Really, Annie? What am I?”
I know this is a big existential question.
And yes, people have written about this for millennia.
And yes, when I ask myself this question I think,
“Whew – too big, too big!”
You don’t have to look at the question head on.
It’s OK to give it a sideways glance.
But it’s a question worth asking.
Who are you?
What are all the exquisite, powerful things that make you – YOU?
Think about your experiences, history, identity, heritage, choices.
Then think about what’s at the core: the solid uniqueness of you.
Here’s something you can do.
Try it in your head, in your journal, or even on a sticky note!
Say to yourself: “I am me. I am_____________.”
Fill in the blank at least 5 times with adjectives.
Be kind. The list could include things you are all
the time or just some of the time.
Here are a few of mine:
I am me. I am bright energy.
I am me. I am gentle.
I am me. I am generous.
I am me. I am small.
I am me. I am strong.
Now ask yourself:
“Besides my professional self, my parenting self, my care taking self, what do I love to do? What do I enjoy?”
Keep it sweet and simple. These do not have to be BIG ideas.
Here are a few of my answers:
I love to read, knit, cook, run, hike. I love to be with my friends, neighbors, and family. I love to be near water and in the green space behind our building. If you want to go deeper, you can think of a way you already nurture these other parts of yourself.
Is there a way you can do something this week with your non-work self or your non-parent self?
Just one little thing. Give it 10 minutes or 30 minutes.
Maybe you already do these other things. You go for walks with friends, paint, write poetry, ride your bike. Shine a light on those things. Remember them at work and outside of work.
When work is looming, we need to remind ourselves that we DO have a life outside of work.
There may be beautiful parts of our lives and our lived experience already happening —we just need to notice and acknowledge them!
You are not your work.
You are so much more than your work.
You are YOU.
If you are feeling really DONE with your work and pushed beyond the limit, don’t worry.
You don’t have to stay forever.
In my next few posts, we’ll work on developing a strategy to help you make a bold switch.
In the meantime, here are a few more posts on finding balance in the workplace: